Just Existing

by daysormay

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1.
Ego 04:48
Stepping out of my ego Ego Coming in evil I might go off the rails I might just burn him down and start from scratch Take a dive, make a deal To see how it feels I might just test the waters, I might just pull out my hair I just might pretend to be evil, see if anybody would care Cause I bit the hand that feeds, only to find it was attached to me It’s funny how I can be all I need, I am the best force in this body Yeah yeah yeah I’m self-sustaining, glory-obtaining, I am the itch on your brain I am the only way out, three faces stacked behind one, I’m the best of the sum, Everything’s so good now And we’re doing just fine So when I break down Everyone will know why I’m trying to help you Don’t want us to die But you’ve got me confined Stepping out of my ego I have to refine you, I turn your raw desire to conformity And no I never liked you, but you’re only alive because of me We can’t think like this, either we obey the world or we meet our demises And hell is when you pluralize this, cause how many times do we have to digress? How could you let this happen? How could you let this fail so well? I’m so used to rejection, I’ll probably bring a ladder to hell Take this guilt I’m sure you’ll never grasp it, Curb that monster, never let it happen We’re all part of this structure, if one goes down then we all go under Everything’s so good now And we’re doing just fine So when I break down Everyone will know why I’m trying to help you Don’t want us to die But you’ve got me confined How many times do I have to fight you? How many times until I can shine through? How many times do you have to kill me? How many times do I have to deny you? Deny your existence, hope that no one notices I’m missing Everybody’s here but they’re never gonna listen Everybody hears but they’re never gonna listen. This is not the be-all end-all, this is not where everybody’s fine. This is just the high point of my life, those are just wasted years gone by, so wave as they go. Because nobody wants to see me cry, too sappy. But nobody cares if I die unhappy. Feelings are heavy and they’ll always hurt, so put in the work. I call it passion, you call it violent Which one of us do you think will be thriving? In five years time when the clouds have all parted, and nobody here’s gonna care how it started. I come back now with a price on my head, with blood on my hands and a limp in my step. Cause you broke me down, took two years of my life, but when I come out that side you’ll still be behind.
2.
25 02:42
They say it’s Funny how you won’t regret it Cause you’ll never think about it when you’re ended And I don’t find that funny or romantic But if they think it’s funny I could get it Yeah I could get behind that Cause why not? Everybody knows that the worst times are behind us They’re not But who doesn’t love a lie? Cause it’s easier to be comfortable than to feel like you gotta try So in that case I’m sure you’ll sleep fine But it feels like If I don’t succeed by 25 Somebody’s gonna come and end my life Yeah I know it hurts And I’d wear my heart on my sleeve But I don’t wanna get blood on this shirt We’re sorry that it’s gotta be Everything you feared even worse Don’t make a fuss now Everybody’s gotta push through the mud Just not any of us But It just feels like If i don’t succeed by 25 Somebody’s gonna come and end my life (Wow that’s crazy) Yeah It just feels like If i don’t succeed by 25 Somebody’s gonna come and end my life Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Trapped unless I’m Trapped unless I’m set by 25 (Set by 25) Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Trapped unless I’m Trapped unless I’m set by 25 (Set by 25) If i knew back then what I know now That nothing’s promised, and that somehow Pushing rawness and being honest Might just cause a bit of progress If i knew back then what I know now That nothing’s promised, and that somehow Pushing rawness and being honest Might just cause a bit of progress but It just feels like Yeah (Too comfortable) Trapped unless I’m Trapped unless I’m set by 25 (Set by 25) Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Trapped unless I’m Trapped unless I’m set by 25 (Set by 25) It just feels like If i don’t succeed by 25 Somebody’s gonna come and end my life (Too comfortable yeah) It just feels like If i don’t succeed by 25 Somebody’s gonna come and end my life
3.
I been holding my tongue way too long It’s got me going (change) Purgatory’s not where I belong But I was terrified of using free speech at all Living in the fear of an open mouth with nothing to say at all Are you alive? How can you see this and still smile? Are you alive? How can you survive and not wonder why? Eyes under wool, it’s hard to see Death on the sidewalks I can’t breathe Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning Why does it always need to come to this? Yeah I think action usually does more than sentiment So don’t stop looking, don’t tap out, don’t go home because the longer this goes on there will be nowhere to go So send your thoughts and prayers, words without action just move air. And we can find every reason not to care Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning Too many post-life apologies, never really sorry, never really honestly Nothing’ll ever change if we’re just standing by, waiting for the right time Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning Streetlights Post-Life hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning hi-fi screaming lo-fi meaning
4.
The Trend 03:07
Keep your eyes shut keep your head down Waiting for ages It’s painless all this noise talking about nameless oh oh oh oh oh yeah My brain exploding under orange streetlights talking slowly you can’t hear me cry my brain exploding under orange streetlights crack my voice so you can hear me cry Nothing gonna change the tides or move the weather No one’s gonna die but no one lasts forever All is coming out in vain just don’t forget it When they call your name I hope you don’t regret it hope you don’t regret it yeah hope you don’t end up like me hope you don’t break that psyche hope you don’t hope you don’t get too set all on the all on the surface mess neck deep in the shallow end sipping on juice for the trend living by example’s fine but none of these saints are your friends yeah I’m neck deep in the shallow end sipping on just for the trend Living by example’s fine, but maybe just don’t use mine Nothing gonna change the tides or move the weather No one’s gonna die but no one lasts forever All is coming out in vain just don’t forget it When they call your name I hope you don’t regret it hope you don’t regret it Hope you don’t regret it.
5.
Running 03:09
Are you here because you need it? Are you here because you wanna? Are you doing what you can or are you doing what you gotta? Are you running for some meaning are you running for a comma? Are you trying for a reason are you trying cause you oughta? Cause I don’t know why I don’t wanna try when everything is on the line, no relief in sight Cause if all that matters is how I turn out in the end, then I got all this time to spend. Every day’s a rental, so I’ll be changing tempo (Are you running, running?) Hoping that the better part of me will make itself known (Are you running, running, running?) Breaking in, out, down, and through (Are you running, running, running?) Scared of what someone like me might do Cause I don’t know why I don’t wanna try when everything is on the line, no relief in sight Cause if all that matters is how I turn out in the end, then I got all this time to spend. (Are you running, are you running?) (Are you running, are you running?) Are you here because you need it? Are you here because you wanna? Doing what you can or are you doing what you gotta? Trying for a reason, are you trying cause you oughta? Running for some meaning, are you running for a comma? Cause I don’t know why I don’t wanna try when everything is on the line, no relief in sight Cause if all that matters is how I turn out in the end, then I got all this time to spend.
6.
melatonin serotonin overloading overdosing never slowing slowly going overboard and always hoping never coping stuck under an open ocean brain exploding i am scolding maybe i should leave it open sometimes i feel like a tornado stuck in place so much happening but nothing’s going anywhere it always took too long to learn how to slow down chasing shortcuts and serotonin touchdowns sometimes i feel like a stationary hurricane these days are coming full i had to look the other way hope that when they find me i’ll be on my way melatonin serotonin overloading overdosing never slowing slowly going overboard and always hoping never coping stuck under an open ocean brain exploding i am scolding maybe i should leave it open running on 6 hours or less betraying my values and making a mess maybe i lost drive i’m searching every day for relief, and chasing a break that i don’t really need maybe the well’s dry this is like existing with no values set in place just floating around doing whatever i want in space never saving face no moral code to obey cause nothing’s ever wrong when there’s no rules to break melatonin serotonin overloading overdosing never slowing slowly going overboard and always hoping never coping stuck under an open ocean brain exploding i am scolding maybe i should leave it open just existing takes time enough i keep my eyes shut too much
7.
Fed up with the hype Good intentions, bad advice All we have are lies Don’t tell me what to do I’ve only seen one side of you I thought I’d never die Don’t tell me what to do But tell me what to focus on Cause you’re not around you’re gone If you’re not around you’re Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Me and my habits and I We love each other Shake hands every evening Disregard in the morning As if I’ll never die Not an icon for your life Cause what kind of life is hoping you wake up one day as someone else? Caught inside a loop but never trying to get out Of this low You call it patience I call it way too slow You can always follow where we go but please just know I’m Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Recognize through tears Who was screaming in the mirror begging me to change Still breaking all my rules but no longer dry my eyes Cause from now on I’ll decide From now on I’ll be Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Not much of a role model Can’t take it slow I don’t wanna be made to follow but I can’t be left alone Me and my habits and I Once again back at the scene of the crime How many times do we gotta lie? Feels like I’ve died here so many times Me and my habits and I Once again back at the scene of the crime How many times do we gotta lie? Feels like I’ve died here so many times
8.
I’ve had quite enough of Tear stained front steps and concrete fears that Hold me back until I’ve found my breath again I preach out basement windows to Cinderblocks and sidewalk pharaohs who hold their breath until I’ve found it for them Till then I’m Following the sound Pushing up on my way down Everything is changing But I know I’ll be staying With you Ah Oh Everyone is leaving All the dreams that I’ve been seeing Are true Ooh Cycles Come and go but I’ll stick around Rise and fall till I’m in the ground Moving with the sound I’m told I’m better off just staying down No risk of falling when you’re on the ground But they can’t hear the sound Cause I would rather fall than to not have jumped at all Everything is changing But I know I’ll be staying With you Ah Oh Everyone is leaving All the dreams that I’ve been seeing Are true Ooh Don’t apologize for feeling All of this will bring us meaning It’s about time, it’s about time
9.
Satellite 04:04
Hey you, the one without the brain I promise I’ll be back All you have to do is stay And wait here, learn from your mistakes Giving it up, oh giving it up, oh giving it up’s so yesterday Stay here, make it worth the wait Giving it up, oh giving it up, oh giving it up’s so yesterday Can you save my soul through fire? Am I waiting just to find nothing on the other side? I know that you know I’m ready to go Boring and sacred But you know that Emotionally trigger-happy till you feel bad And what’s with your days now? You look so sad The one upstairs says that you’re making her mad Hey you The one without a brain Giving it up, oh giving it up, oh giving it up’s so yesterday Stay here, make it worth the wait You can call it what you want, but I would call it pain Can you save my soul through fire? Am I waiting just to find nothing on the other side? I know that you know I’m ready to go Hoping for a moral sign of life All this time thought that you’d realize It’s never going away You better watch your back You better run like that Cause when it all comes back You gotta duck that flak I’ll be running till I’m face down Can you save my soul through fire? Am I waiting just to find nothing on the other side? I know that you know I’m ready to go
10.
All my friends are gone You and I are holding on Maybe I don’t know what it means These things they come and go But they always come back to me You My blue My only way through You know that I can’t stay with you Comfort in the loud Quiet never let me down Maybe I don’t know what it means These things they come and go But they always come back to me You My blue My only way through You know that I can’t stay with You My blue My only way through You know that I can’t stay with you

credits

released October 6, 2021

This project is funded in part by FACTOR, the Government of Canada and Canada’s private radio broadcasters. Ce projet est financé en partie par FACTOR, le gouvernement du Canada et les radio diffuseurs privés du Canada.

Supported by Creative BC and the Province of British Columbia

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daysormay Vancouver, British Columbia

Nolan Bassett
Aidan Andrews
Carson Bassett

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